Goals and Doughnuts

I read a lot of books on business, success, goals, personal development. They are very motivating and in fact as a result of reading these books I have a scrapbook containing my goals, each goal having it's own page, a due date, a picture of what it looks like, and it's broken into mini goals to reach the big one. I try to look at my goal book every day to stay on track.

This past spring I reached my first mini goals! I was so psyched and it led me to go buy all the provisions I talked about in my last posting. My big goal was to start making money selling cupcakes, and the reason is to have income while going to graduate school and not have to have a full time job. My mini goal was to start donating cupcakes to church to get my name out, then advertise to do parties. Going up to the manager was actually quite scary, out of my comfort zone anyway, but when I did it and had a positive result it made me look forward to reaching another goal, what a rush!

The next goal I really want to reach is my weight loss goal.. broken down to 3 mini goals. I haven't reached my first, not even close! I wake up every morning with such a strong mind, and consciously think about it - I'm not going to eat badly today! My first goal date is December 31st and man! I have a long way to go. Where do I go wrong, I'll tell you! I am strong getting ready for work, strong walking into work, then I sit down and there come the donuts. Inevitably, someone decides to be nice and bring in boxes of the Dunkin. They spell their doughnuts "donut" - they take out the "ugh" Unfortunately, although the ugh is out of the title, it's still in the donut. Ugh I just ate a donut. Ugh from my belly who has to break down the donut. Ugh from my butt that's trying to get smaller not larger. UGH!

So I sit at work and try to pretend they're not sitting 3 feet away from me. And every single person that walks by says "Ooh! Donuts!" I'm thinking - be strong, be strong you don't want a donut. Literally repeating to myself that I don't want a donut until all of a sudden don't becomes Yes! You do want a donut! It's just a little donut! That darn little devil on my shoulder. And I have a donut.

Sometimes I wonder if my goals are contradictory. Can I be thin and a cupcake baker at the same time? Does anyone trust a skinny baker? Who's food would you rather: Paula Deen or Giada DeLasomething?

Maybe I can hold myself accountable via this blog. If I continue to confess my poor eating habits it will be embarrassing and get me on track. I need a swift kick to the booty is what I need.