Ingenuous

Pardon my veracity but I have an exigent need to blog.

It's time for disabuse. Although at times arduous, I have no qualms about my ennui. It is my predilection that I need a swift kick to the arse. No chicanery! I have prevaricated too much and look where it's got me.

I started rather extemporaniously, but now I see I was only making things convoluted. So now, austere and audacious, I will voraciously pursue my diet/exercise plan. ***

***$3 words brought to you by the erudite, truculent folks at GRE.***

I am keeping myself accountable via this here blog. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, about life, and it really does seem like I make things convoluted. It should be simple - take care of yourself, eat right and exercise. I am embarrassed to look at myself and it is clear that I didn't take care of myself to get this way, and all I can think is - Duh! Eating crap and not exercising, not very smart. And letting problems get me down, also taken too far. I mean, everyone has problems. Why are mine worse than others to where I am losing control? There's no need, I am seeing very clearly tonight. It's all about perspective.

I just spent an hour on the treadmill to have these revelations, huh, maybe there's something to this exercise helping mind, body, and spirit. I've read a lot of books on success and they all also mention how it starts with yourself, staying in shape sets the tone for your whole life. If you can't take care of yourself how can you take care of anything.

Lately I had been feeling so down, looking at life and feeling like I'd failed. My job is not anything I'd thought I'd have 10 years out of college, I'd put on weight -- just nowhere I thought I'd be at 31. I know the only true way to fail is to give up but really it is a struggle to keep your head above water and not get swept away by the current. It's hard to feel completely in control... Maybe that's where I went wrong, I let go.

I am finding myself feeling somewhat down but altogether optimistic. I am making changes, even though it is going to be a long road to turn around.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRLQOdgtWqw

There's something else I need to learn, how to put a you tube video on blogs. :-o Check out that song about Turning Around!

Well, I will continue to blog about my journey. The start here is a little rocky but I am focused. I hope one year from now I will be blogging and will be close to my goal weight and in grad school.