Crossroads

image from photobucket

I've been wanting to keep this blog light hearted and fun, but man o man what a day I've had.

Yesterday I had to come home early because I was getting sick, and today it was on.  I didn't get out of bed until some vague afternoon hour.  I thought some chicken soup would be in order so I chopped up some veggies, threw them in a pot with some broth and a little spice and let it be to simmer for a while.

Then I had an afternoon tea with my good friends Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.  After all of season 5 disc 2 had run it's course, I found myself stumbling down to the mailbox, kind of like a Russian spy darting behind the tree and somersaulting up to it less my neighbors see my horrible bedhead and crumply clothes.

And then the day decided to take itself a severe left towards the worse.

There in the mailbox, sitting quietly and calmly in the back was a small thin envelope, one that I've been running out to the box daily waiting for.

I got rejected from grad school.  I was at the very least hoping to get on the wait list but this was a flat out rejection.  It hit me like a sock to the gut.

Last year, preparing to apply, it was a rough year.  Between working full time, a good solid course load in school, stressing over the gre, having a new home we were renovating, being a newlywed, getting my new pup..it was a heavy stressful year.  A year I was so relieved to get behind me.  Only now?  It's right back in front of my face. 

I feel at a crossroads.  Everyone has something they are good at, everyone seems to have direction.  Do what you love, the money will follow.  All these cliched things, but I am still struggling to find out what my purpose is.  I'm trying to do a little soul searching to find out if I'm on the right path and just need to patiently wait another year and reapply, or am I on the wrong path altogether?

And so I sit, melancholy, dejected, wondering what to do next.