Thursday, February 25, 2010


image from photobucket

I've been wanting to keep this blog light hearted and fun, but man o man what a day I've had.

Yesterday I had to come home early because I was getting sick, and today it was on.  I didn't get out of bed until some vague afternoon hour.  I thought some chicken soup would be in order so I chopped up some veggies, threw them in a pot with some broth and a little spice and let it be to simmer for a while.

Then I had an afternoon tea with my good friends Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.  After all of season 5 disc 2 had run it's course, I found myself stumbling down to the mailbox, kind of like a Russian spy darting behind the tree and somersaulting up to it less my neighbors see my horrible bedhead and crumply clothes.

And then the day decided to take itself a severe left towards the worse.

There in the mailbox, sitting quietly and calmly in the back was a small thin envelope, one that I've been running out to the box daily waiting for.

I got rejected from grad school.  I was at the very least hoping to get on the wait list but this was a flat out rejection.  It hit me like a sock to the gut.

Last year, preparing to apply, it was a rough year.  Between working full time, a good solid course load in school, stressing over the gre, having a new home we were renovating, being a newlywed, getting my new was a heavy stressful year.  A year I was so relieved to get behind me.  Only now?  It's right back in front of my face. 

I feel at a crossroads.  Everyone has something they are good at, everyone seems to have direction.  Do what you love, the money will follow.  All these cliched things, but I am still struggling to find out what my purpose is.  I'm trying to do a little soul searching to find out if I'm on the right path and just need to patiently wait another year and reapply, or am I on the wrong path altogether?

And so I sit, melancholy, dejected, wondering what to do next.


  1. It will all come to you. We ALL come to these crossroads and funny enough, they usually lead us to our REAL direction. Let go and let the Universe take this on.

  2. Oh, I'm so sorry! I agree with Anonymous, I've been there, too. I PROMISE you, I got through it and I HAVE found my way! I'm POSITIVE you will too, don't lose faith!! Hugs!

  3. Oh no. I know how it feels to feel a little lost. I feel that way in my profession sometimes, so know you aren't alone. Just keep your chin up and your heart open to all of the other opportunities before you.

  4. It was so nice of you to write me back. Thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely be looking into that designer... she did such a great job on yours! Thanks again!